Like the number 19 bus our children arrived all at once, none for ages and then 3 arrived within 2 short years. Four and a half years on, this in essence means,
- I cannot speak on the phone during their waking hours
- I seldom have waking hours outside of theirs
- I am always the mother being tutted at/sympathised with on the park
- I have single handedly filled a land fill with nappies
- My house has a faint whiff of pee (or maybe that’s just my imagination)
2 year old twins are the stuff of parenting challenges. As one is safely ensconced in a pram/car seat another escapes, as one stops shouting for Mummy, water, food, toilet the other starts. It’s a non-stop attention shop in my house. Now that the twins can also speak, the noise in the house can reach dangerous levels, add to that the fact they so far speak a different language to mine makes it a challenge with a twist. It’s one thing understanding the noise in English, quite another when its coming at you in a mix of English, Hebrew and baby talk – ‘what are you saying?’
There are a few key words necessary to know when entering my domain if you are not a Hebrew speaker.
- Mime – (water) sounds like mine so at any point they could be referring to either water or a belonging of theirs
- Cacky – (poo) not to be mistaken with cracker (cacka) one of the twins’ favourite food stuffs. Cacky comes with a smell or a squatting toddler
- Od – (more) often said 15 times over at a gradually louder level
- Zay oo – (finished/enough) usually heard on the park when the swing/slide is scarily high or when a plate is sent skimming across the table to the floor.
- Die – (stop) don’t think too literally on this one, ‘Mummy, die!’ ‘die die die’ can be heard repeatedly from all 3 kids directed at a parent or each other.
My children came arguably late on in life, the first at 35 and I have wondered on occasion if this extreme parenting would have been easier had I been 25. Do 29 year olds get as tired as 39 year olds after a day with the childers? As I remember it, I was having a blast at 29 and was far from ready for the responsibility of children so I don’t regret the timing, just wish my physical make up in my mid to late 20s could have stuck around until after the teething, the diving to catch one heading into danger and the pushing of a pram carrying 42 kilos was over.
My kids make me see things through fresh eyes, ‘Mummy you do nothing at home’ said the 4 year old when we were discussing what people did for jobs the other day. They are also a constant reminder of my shortcomings, ‘how does a satellite stay in the sky?’, and a catalyst for self-improvement, ’build us a house out of these boxes, we need to recycle’. They introduce me to the otherwise unknown or forgotten world of Balamory, snail farms and fairy princesses and for all those reasons and more, they are my most important reason to celebrate as they are the greatest achievement in my 40 years. To top it all I also get to be carried along by their excitement which is sure to surpass my own on my big day.