Cheer Up, it’s not all bad

Standard

The sun gives you skin cancer and causes early aging of the skin

Vegetables are poisoned with pesticides/genetically modified and any goodness left is destroyed by cooking anyway

Meat is amongst other things full of hormones/antibiotics/fatpoison_sign

Fish is over fished or farmed – see previous 2 points

Wheat is what makes us all tired and bloated and fed up (apparently)

Bread has wheat in it

Pasta has wheat in it

Breakfast cereals – wheat, sugar, salt – just plain bad

Sugar – poison and therefore any tasty treat whether it’s organic, homemade, even if it has fruit in it, it also probably has sugar in it – poison.

Milk – lactose is bad for you and anyway regular milk is full of hormones, antibiotics and can be sold re-pasteurised more than a month after it left the cow (again apparently)

Wi-fi fries your brain

Cell phones fry your brain

Computers, TV and games you can play on these mediums make you violent, exacerbate ADD and ADHD in children and are generally anti-social

All forms of social media are anti-social

Do I need to say cigarettes, alcohol, and recreational drug use?

All forms of transport apart from a bike is poison for the world

A bike is a death trap in a world full of poisoning vehicles

I have to stop before my head explodes. Surely we don’t have to live on a commune, in a cave, sucking organic veggies?  I don’t want to.

Sod it, its January, its raining (even in Israel), pass the chocolate. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

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4 responses »

  1. Hilarious and spot on as ever – thank goodness for you in my inbox in January eh. PS just resorted to er…borrowing a choc coin from six year old’s stash….terrible but necessary (anyway – bad for him!)

    • chocs are bad for children so highly recommend you eat them all (am impressed they are still around, it is 2 weeks after Xmas). Thank you for your very kind words – I’m having a bad day – can you tell?

  2. We are all made of stars, all the atoms in your body came from stardust…..we are just the cosmos experiencing itself…..live for the moment and always remember there’s always horses out there.

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