Granny and Grandpa magically arrive on an enormous aeroplane, we get to screech and jump on them at the arrivals hall of the airport and they bring presents. Lots of presents.
Kitted out in our new clothes we listen to them reading us the new books (in English), play with the new toys and slowly but surely weave our magic grandchildren charm on them so that they are soon unable to deny us an ice cream or a pair of shoulders to sit on when our legs get tired.
At bath time they take it in turns to get a soaking, Mummy doesn’t let us throw buckets of water out of the bath but surely Grandpa won’t mind.
Their bark is far quieter than Mummy’s during a bit of good-humoured food throwing at dinner time .
At bedtime we fight over who gets to read us a story and have been known to manipulate an extra bedtime cuddle.
Grandpa knows all about gardening and space telescopes. He’s funny and he always draws brilliant pictures on the etch a sketch.
Granny plays picnics and drinks special tea from pink cups. She says she is stuck when she sits on the floor and Mummy has to come to help her up.
When Granny and Grandpa come we don’t go to nursery. We go on trips to the beach or to lakes and waterfalls. Every day is special treat day and an ice lolly is part of the schedule.
It’s extra nice for Mummy when Granny and Grandpa come. She doesn’t have to do everything in the house. Granny is always doing the washing and Grandpa brings her gin which tastes horrible but she likes it.
Granny and Mummy are always talking and sometimes we have to really shout so they shut up and listen to us. Grandpa likes us shouting, he says he can hear us when he can’t hear everyone else.
Mummy says that one day we will all go to England to visit Granny and Grandpa. We’d like that because we can’t really remember our last trip. Daddy says they have horses in their back garden and a canal at the end of the road.
By the end of a visit we get a bit confused. Mummy gets sad and when we wake up in the morning we can’t find Granny and Grandpa. We see them on the computer but we don’t really like talking to them like that.
We like to tell people that Granny and Grandpa went on a big plane to England but really we’d like it more if they could go home by car and then we could drive to see them at their house all the time, then maybe Mummy wouldn’t be so sad when they leave.