WTF?

Ten years on and there are many things in Israel, quirks shall we say, that I didn't think I would ever get used to. In fact on arrival many of them struck me at the least strange and at the worst absurd.  Here are my favourites; 1. Cottage.  No not a small quaint house in…

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AEIOU I sometimes cry

You have probably noticed that that slogan t shirts are back in style after a 30 year break.  Yes it was the 80's when we sported 'Choose Life', 'Just say NO' and 'Frankie says Relax' t-shirts and yes that was indeed 30 years ago.  Hmmm.  I had a particularly fetching pale pink cut off t-shirt…

How does your garden grow?

How does my garden grow?  Well it doesn't.  No scratch that, there are a couple of things that grow in my garden, the gigantic date palms and the Ficus trees and therein lies the problem. I grew up in an area where the garden was more likely to be waterlogged or too cold to grow…

A little mouse with clogs on

You'd be forgiven for thinking my home is infested with vermin as there are days when I believe it to be true. If it's not the cockroach colony raving in my back garden at night, it's the ants that appear from nowhere and form lines across my work surfaces if I don't disinfect them every 3…

Have a little patience

Savlanoot, one of the first words they teach you in the Ulpan - the first stop for all keen new arrivals to Israel's fair shores.  Savlanoot means patience and as most Israelis will admit, is something you don't see much evidence of on the streets here.  Remember the driving post?  Why wait patiently when you can lean…

The White White Snow of Home

If you’re an ex pat or if you just like a bit of self-pity every now and then, I have a brilliant way to really wallow in your homesickness/sadness.  It involves downloading Google Earth and re-visiting your previous homes, schools, work places.  In fact anywhere that brings back happy memories.  If you really want to…

I’m an alien

Next week there is an election here in Israel.  It will be my first election here as a fully fledged voter. It took me 7 years to become a citizen of Israel; at least 10 interviews at the Interior Office, 3 interviews held separately from my husband - less we compare notes, 5 episodes of crying in…

Cheer Up, it’s not all bad

The sun gives you skin cancer and causes early aging of the skin Vegetables are poisoned with pesticides/genetically modified and any goodness left is destroyed by cooking anyway Meat is amongst other things full of hormones/antibiotics/fat Fish is over fished or farmed – see previous 2 points Wheat is what makes us all tired and…

Do they know its Christmas?

Ingredients for a successful Christmas party:   - Daylight, all the best Christmas parties take place during the day (no hangover the following day) - Too much food; turkey, stuffing, sprouts and roasties a must. - Too much drink, of the alcoholic variety. Bubbles or heated or both preferable - Slightly tipsy dancing in living rooms…